Are you a good listener?
Stephen Covey (author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) made famous a quote: “The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
And even though it’s some years since this became a bit of a buzzphrase in the corporate and life coaching arena, few people manage, in reality, to be great listeners.
Many people are good listeners, sure … but don’t you want to be great?
Effective listening is, after all, the cornerstone of robust communication.
I loved being a journalist, but more than that, I’m grateful for all my years as a journalist because it gave me invaluable life skills you don’t get from many professions.
One is the ability to listen effectively. A journalist must listen effectively to conduct a good interview and ask pertinent questions. It’s a skill we can be taught … but to become great at listening, you must continually practice some simple disciplines.
So what exactly does it mean to be a good listener? I think it boils down to these five things:
Don’t be distracted! If you’re face-to-face, use eye contact or lean in to show genuine interest in the person you’re talking to. This also helps to build rapport and gentle trust.
The additional benefit of being focused is that you can take a lot more in than just what a person is saying – body language makes up about half of what people are conveying, tone of voice is about 40%, and actual words make up around 10 percent.
You’ll miss most of what someone communicates if you’re not actively listening – your ears and eyes. If you’re not face-to-face, you can’t rely on body language, so it’s important not to get distracted.
I always believe that everyone has something to teach me – even if it’s just a witty one-liner I can store in the memory bank for another time!
You run the risk of missing the good stuff someone says if you’re not genuinely curious about where the conversation is headed … And this is where the next point becomes valid.
We all have a habit of judging people, things, circumstances, etc. Even if we’re unaware of it – our personal biases typically run subconsciously. But here’s where staying present and in-the-moment, can help. When you’re focused, your mind has less of a tendency to wander into judgment territory…. When you pre-judge, you stop being curious … So you can see how it can be a communications barrier.
Open-ended questions are the best. What do I mean by that? Frame your questions in a way that means people can’t just give you a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘maybe’ in response unless you’re seeking clarification on something that was just said.
Ask questions that require more information to be shared … What, Where, When, How, and Why? Invite the other person to share more detailed information that’s valuable.
Ok, so while all of the above are characteristics of a good listener, if you want to be a great listener, then there’s just one more thing you should include in your conversations.
… And it’s easy!
Repeat and/or paraphrase what the other person has told you so you can be sure that what they said was the same as what you comprehended.
Along the lines of …” If I understood you correctly, you said X, Y, and Z?”… or
“So that I understand, you said… A, B, C, and D.”
You can even say something like … “So, do you mean … 1, 2, 3 … am I understanding that correctly?”
If not, you can sort out miscommunications right there and then by getting the other person to provide you with more clarity, so you know for sure that you’re both “on the same page,” as they say.
Bonus – it also lets the other person know you were paying attention! And we all like feeling that our time and opinion are valued.
Amber Daines media training focuses on building these skills. While we call it media training because it has a media focus, our training is designed as “communications training” because we aim to help everyone improve their communication skills while learning valuable tips, tricks, and strategies for dealing with the media.
In the Digital Age, communication is a crucial skill – whether interacting with another person, writing for an audience, speaking to an audience, podcasting, leading a team, doing a media interview, or filming a marketing and promotions video solo for social media.
Talk to us if you want to build a team of great communicators.
We find that when groups do our media training, it has a positive impact on team culture, too, because everyone learns to listen more attentively. They also tend to feel more confident asking questions, too. The benefits of better information sharing, reducing miscommunications that can lead to mistakes, and conflict resolution are invaluable.
Newspapers are not dead. That said, they have certainly had to reshape their business model to survive over the past decade. But we’re living in a digitally obsessed world where news is shared on many platforms and not only from traditional media outlets. So, let’s talk about how to make the most of the modern media landscape.
Newspapers were once the undisputed main source of news, and the cornerstone of authority for everything from fashion styles to business and economics.
But those days have passed and newspapers have paid the price through lost subscriptions and fewer clicks – most people get their news online, and not just from newspapers. All mainstream media have embraced digital channels, and social media too.
The good news is that because we can all access and create news through our own channels, there are now numerous ways you can reach your audience without traditional media. The downside is that it can be harder to grab attention and hold it because there is so much more content out there – on websites, blogs, and social media platforms such as LinkedIn.
That’s why, when you are embarking on a media or communications strategy, you need to brush up your skills – across all areas.
You need to be able to articulate your messages quickly, give a good quote, and present well via radio and audio-visual mediums. In a digital world, it’s important to be relevant and it’s even more important to be clear and concise.
People don’t read as much as they used to – we see that rise of “snack journalism” with smaller news pieces we can read and understand in a few moments An 800-word blog (like this one) is good for your website, and you might even be successful in getting an op-ed piece in your industry publication, or the opportunity to provide a guest column in a newspaper or a business group newsletter, but in any space that’s not an off-shoot of a traditional print medium, then getting your message out will require good editing skills and some innovation.
Think 100 words max and get creative when it comes to how you package up your message and deliver it.
You also need to decide where you’re delivering it – you’ve got lots of choices, but a message can fall flat if you don’t embrace the style of the medium you’re using.
TikTok is not the same as LinkedIn – sure, that’s obvious. But it also means that you can’t just produce one piece of content and share it in several places. I’ve said this before too – delivering a podcast is also very different from fronting a video.
Video content formats are becoming increasingly popular as we become time-poor. Podcasts are easy to listen to in the car, while you’re doing the grocery shopping, at the gym, or cooking dinner. You can watch a video from the sidelines of soccer training, or while you’re waiting for a train, a plane … from the backseat of an Uber. You get the idea.
With this in mind, then at some point down the track, you’re going to have to get comfortable presenting in front of a camera.
During the pandemic lockdowns, endless Zoom calls gave us all a bit of training …. But slick digital content requires more than just fronting up with a great outfit and hair and makeup done.
You need to stand out, in terms of content and creativity, if you want views and shares in respectable numbers.
Presenting to video is not all that dissimilar to presenting to a live audience. The golden rule to successful presenting is to remember that your presentation is not about you. It’s about your audience.
The big difference, of course, is that on the video you’re close up and only you are in focus so you want to make the most of your facial expressions, body language, and vocal pace and tone. There is an ‘element’ of acting involved, for you to come across as confident, competent, and credible.
If you’re producing in-house then you will get several rehearsals and re-dos, but …. And I recommend this to all my clients – you really do want to hone your skills so that you can be a ‘one-take-wonder’ …
The reason for this is that as you build your own and your business’s online profile, then you’ll attract the attention of journalists and other kinds of content creators. When you collaborate with other professionals, live TV is a great example, you won’t always get a second go.
My experience as a seasoned speaker and former TV reporter has given me a great deal of insight into what makes a GREAT presenter … and how to teach simple tips and tricks to business owners and CEOs like yourself who want to get ‘camera-ready.’
Being comfortable in front of a camera or an audience is a must-have skill these days – it’s part and parcel of the way we do business and connect with customers and clients.
The pandemic may be over, but Zoom has become a vital tool for doing business. Think you’ll never be called to do anything more than host a meeting on camera? Think again.
Traditional face-to-face meetings such as sales presentations, meetings with boards and shareholders, and pitches to potential new clients or vendors, or funders are being replaced with AV technology. It’s cheaper and usually more effective for businesses to use these platforms than flying people to places for a two-hour meeting.
At Bespoke Communications we provide both one-to-one training and all forms of presentation skills training for teams. Contact us to find out more.
Business leaders can understandably feel totally flummoxed by constant changes that are impacting the way we do business, socialise and work online. Despite the rise of tech and the ability to hold events or speaking engagements virtually, the same tried and tested communication fundamentals still apply. Now there are just many more options available to get your message to market!
The best communicators are flexible, sincere, and not afraid to share their journey honestly – good, bad, or otherwise. Authenticity is key though that word can get overused, it still has currency in 2022. Another thing you should understand (if you don’t already) is that selling is no longer the name of the game. ‘Engagement’ is what you’re going for…. Genuine interaction with clients and customers builds loyalty.
Where you decide to share your message comes down to what you’re trying to achieve – stay flexible, there is a myriad of options to choose from in this rapidly changing landscape but the right one depends on the audience first and foremost.
The key is to know where your clients or customers are and to tailor your message accordingly… and here’s where you can really get creative!
In the past decade, we’ve seen an explosion in communication channels, platforms, and forums – there are new music and podcast streaming services, magazine apps, Insta, WhatsApp, and TikTok– the list is endless. But don’t be tempted to engage with them all at one time. Choose wisely, think innovatively, and allocate your budget and resources where you’re likely to get the most engagement. The ROI if you like.
While marketers have traditionally relied on one clever image or tagline, now is the time to explore ways to grow your brand’s imagery and message as you reach different niches via different forums. The trick though is to keep it consistent, but different – and that’s where professional advice can really make the difference between a campaign that works, and one that has real cut-through.
Sometimes I like to think of it as “Don’t skywrite to a fish – it can’t read. Tailoring the message to the audience and the platform is key. Audio-only simply doesn’t work on YouTube … you know what I mean?
With all of that in mind, here are my top 5 considerations for your next campaign.
On a final note, if you outsource, and the brief is right, trust that your creative team or content developers have worked hard to craft an engaging, authentic message that reflects what you offer and why it matters today. Just remember that the ‘hustle’ is important – never let your message hide from the audience. Get OUT there – blog, speak, comment, engage … the more you communicate, the more easily and simply you will secure new business opportunities… Keep it genuine. The days of the hard sell are over. The conversation is what counts.
